Unexpected Day

Earlier today was really an unexpected day for me. I went online to chat with my hubby but I got an offline message from him saying -


my dear maria fe,,, i think its better you go on with your life,, the stress and cancer is going to kill me and god is not helping me at all ,,,, the strees in my back is total numbness and tingling,,, and my neck is killing me ,,,,,,so since god is doing nothing with me as usual it just better i jus dieand go to hell,,, i wish this was not happening and i am so sorry that you are a part of this,,,, but god cannot help me and no one can the stress is to bad and the cancer will win,,,i am so sorry maria fe but you do deserve much better ,,,,,god bless you maria fe and your entire family.  i love you all

I went into panic mode but saw that his sister was online on skype and called her and we talked. While she was waiting to hear and connect to my hubby, I turned into prayer. I talked to God and Mama Mary. I was begging and asking God - please Lord don't let it happen. I knew I can't do anything especially I'm thousand miles away but I believe God can do something in our situation. I prayed the rosary and trust God that He would do something and control it. Yes, indeed! Thank you Lord for listening and answering my prayer. The brother of my hubby went to check on him and his room was closed and so he went outside the window of my hubby's room and saw he was there lying on bed and staring on the roof, bothered. The brother called my hubby and thank God, he responded and let him in. Atlast, after an hour of waiting, we heard from hubby. His sister talked to him on phone, crying. Everyone is so stressed out but committing a suicide is never a solution to a problem.
My hubby went online and we chatted. He didnot say any words but he just typed everything how he feels. He was mad at God for not answering his prayers to heal him. I just let him expressed and let him vented everything how he feels. I just said, its okay. It was a very had day for him because of suffering from backpain, neck pain and tummy pain. He is afraid that the cancer spreads already. He is afraid to die yet but he said he wasn't afraid to go to hell. Yes, I understand him and couldn't blame him but I blamed the devil for overpowering him. I believed it was not him, it was the devil talking. Lord, please forgive my hubby for he didnot know what he was saying. Sorry Lord for sometimes I feel that maybe I was forcing him to You.
You know I said Yes to you last time Lord to use me and You answered my prayer. I didnot know it would be this hard. I didnot expect it Lord but I still trust You Lord that You are with us in this battle. Direct this battle Lord, be the director of our lives. It it was me Lord, I already given up but when I think of You Lord, You always give me hope and that I believe that nothing is impossible with You. I'm lifting and surrender everything to You Lord. But sorry for sometimes I still think and ask you, I couldn't help it Lord. Thank You Lord for being there when we needed You the most. Thank you for not giving on my hubby when he was about to give up. Thank You Lord.